By Merlin’s curse and need of Man
I summon the Demon Etrigan.
Ascend, Dark Prince, from Hell’s desire.
Attend to me through blood! Through fire!
Now begone, O mortal Man!
Now rise the Demon! Etrigan!
Enter the Demon
* * *
So! With cocaine courage, a scrap of spellcraft, and a madman’s luck
You summoned a primeval horror from Hell’s very bowels! I must confess
Without my brother’s foot upon my neck I should reward your pluck
By exquisitely eviscerating you for requiring Etrigan to repair your ungodly mess!
But this world, this earth, is under my keeper’s watch, and by extension mine as well,
So when summoned I am duty-bound to predate all servants of The Fallen and The Profane.
O! Irony! that a brood of gimcrack souls should be succored by a rhyming prince of Hell!
Enow! I am away to attend my blasphemous chore, to be this abomination’s bane!
Ho! Old Beast! Make carnage cease! Etrigan is come to bring you home, still alive or still in death!
With naked rage, heart aflame, I quiver to strike with wild abandon!
But am I the wolf, come starving to devour flesh, thirsting for your dying breath?
Or the warden who will break you, bind you, and drag you back to forgotten Abaddon!
Quell your rage; submit; prostrate yourself beside the worms before me,
And in my mercy I will drown you in a deluge swift and savage of unmeasured pain.
Contest my charge; resist; snarl and spit upon my will on unbent knee,
And I will mete torture so inventive and depraved that suffering ten score deaths shall be the measure that you gain!
To mark your age and rank I defer the dire choice to you.
Just know my patience, like a sinner’s faith, is thin,
So be you wise and swift in deciding what to do.
The stakes are set. Now we begin.
Attend me well, O Lord of Dung! Tho’ you upheld the underlands through eons forgotten, spent and cold,
When this world was a-boil and the Fell Born still were young,
Your renown has no coin with me; degradation is the currency I keep, the only tribute ‘twill put murder on hold.
Otherwise, in your honor long and dark dirges will be sung.
Your repatriation has been ordained and declared; it comes with warrant fully sanctioned to dispense the judgment that you choose.
Inexorable as time, it will be slaked; so know that when the grieving moon can watch no more you will have boldly made your fate or you shall be made profoundly dead.
In Creation’s wake you raped the Mundane Realm in orgies of fang and claw—yet when contesting angels, titans clearly lose;
So resistance here, now, will end in kind—tho’ with your quietus set—for Etrigan offers no reward of sweet damnation or other clement punishment instead!
Your pestilent bellow speaks your defiance in the gospel of the oldest tongue; and so the seeds of torment are sown!
Let your magnificent agony trumpet with sound and fury to raise the dead and level Yahweh’s sacred mountain!
With claws I rend your hide and peel it back to expose meat and guts and bone.
With teeth I tear your throat asunder and wash my feet in your jugular’s fountain!
Eh? What’s this? You gnash? You parry? You would resist my ministrations to remain a threat,
And worse, make of Etrigan a liar?
This insurgence will not stand; my charity ends! I thus serve fair warning, much to your regret,
That I dispatch you now with Hellfire!
Hate is my fuel, wrath my flame, a blaze which dwarfs celestial fire!
I am the Chthonic Furnace; I am your holocaust!
With fiery breath I anoint you—now blister and roast in my ire!
You dared raise a hand ‘gainst Etrigan, but did not calculate the cost!
Yarrhaahaahaaheeheeheee! I cremate God’s Breath with demonic glee!
And I raise a glass as millennia pass while your esse melts in heat beyond your ken!
Burn! Burn! O fetid beast! You may roar but I reject your plea
As I scour you from this world of Men!
Ah, but surely my joy concerns you not; pardon such vulgar intrusion upon your reverie,
For now your thoughts must clearly be of dying directly and completely, if you can.
Through hubris you have damned yourself, wretched monstrum! You suffer the fate of every
Fiend and fool who defies the will of Etrigan!
Ho! And so it ends: Having struck your life’s mournful final chord,
You fall; the note fades as you now lie scorched and ruined upon a callous earth.
The gift of death was entreated and accorded as your last reward.
No tears from me, (Alas! I fear), just my thanks for bringing me unbridled mirth!
So, useless meat: Do you now accept that magick is not some trifle, slave to any amusement you demand?
Has the madness you unleashed today well convinced you to forsake your malefic vice,
To abandon gambling with forces you will never begin to comprehend nor command?
Repeat this folly at your peril; if Etrigan is to you dispatched again, you will find him not so…nice.
A bell tolls now for me; I feel Blood tug upon my chains.
While I am thus bound to him I must obey.
But Eternity is not so long for such as I; time wanes.
I will be free; perhaps not soon; but, yes…someday.
For now, this drama ends: The house lights rise, the curtain’s poised to fall.
I’ll wager that even through terror-etched eyes you enjoyed the Grand Guignol you just saw
And that my role in said performance did sufficiently enthrall.
Yes or no, my part is done; I take my final bow; I, Etrigan, withdraw.
* * *
By Merlin’s oath on crown beloved,
I summon the mortal, Jason Blood.
Ascend, dark mage, from Hell’s embrace.
Storm Damnation’s Gate to take my place!
Now return, O mortal Man!
So commands your Demon—Etrigan!
Exit the Demon
The Demon Etrigan created by Jack Kirby. Copyright DC Comics.
Original story and text © 2021 The Curator Says